Organising a photoshoot with tv host Brian Dowling and his husband Arthur Gourounlian could not be any more fun. First of all, this is right up the couple’s street. Glamour? Fashion? Creativity? They love it all. So much so, that the fabulous Arthur – a hugely successful choreographer and creative director – offered to create a mood board for photographer Lili Forberg to emulate. Sure, he did our work for us!
We met with the guys at Brian’s sister’s house in Kildare, where they have been staying during lockdown, along with his adorable nieces Leah, Sophie and Sadhbh and little nephew Harvey. It’s a far cry from their usual life in the States, pre-Covid. There hasn’t been any plane hopping to get to the next gig, or long distance Face Time calls. After an initial period of separation, when Arthur packed up their things in LA (yes, they are officially moved to Ireland now), the pair have since spent every moment together, enjoying quality time with Brian’s family. Slowing down has been good for them, as it has for us all, although they’ve still been busy keeping us entertained on the likes of Instagram and TikTok (do yourself a favour and give them a follow!)
Lockdown hasn’t been without its drama for Brian though; he got unintentionally caught up in an internet storm with Davina McCall over his exclusion from the Big Brother: Best Shows Ever reunion, despite him winning the show twice (once as the ultimate housemate, ever…no biggie!) and hosting six seasons. Here, exclusively with VIP, he clears up the whole story and reveals his hurtful treatment by the show that made his name. Thankfully, that experience didn’t turn Brian off working on telly; he shines when he talks about his passion, and it’s abundantly clear that this is what he’s meant to do.
Here at VIP, we want to see him on our screens more – his recent Dancing with the Stars appearance wasn’t enough! Bring us Brian and Arthur House Hunting…or Brian and Arthur’s Adoption Journey, which he shares with VIP in this interview…
Brian! How have you and Arthur found the past few months? It’s been a total change of scenery for you both.
I know! This time last year we were living in Los Angeles… We were always going to move back to Ireland, say the end of 2021 maybe, but with everything that happened, we decided to bring it all forward. It has been lovely to be with my family, the kids, Arthur…to pull back on all the travelling we usually do and regroup has been quite nice.
How did you manage the move home during all this madness?
Well, I was at home because of Dancing with the Stars, so Arthur did all of it! He packed everything up, sorted out shipping and then moved in with Donal Skehan and Sofie for two weeks, helped them pack, and they all flew home together and quarantined in Howth. I think he felt like…do I have to leave?! Donal was spoiling him, cooking for him…he came back to me like he’d been on holiday!
But you’re officially here now!
Yes, Arthur has his PPS number, he’s opened a bank account…we’re all settled. It’s nice that we’re living in the country we plan on living in forever. No more moving! We’re currently looking for our home, and we’ve been out to see a few places, which is both scary and exciting. It feels like you’re starting over, but for the last time.
You can see in the photos how close you are with your nieces and nephew – has this whole experience furthered yours and Arthur’s desire to start a family?
Definitely. We kind of had the ball rolling in America on both surrogacy and adoption, we had agents in both fields and went for meetings, all that. Then I moved over at the start of the year, the pandemic hit, Arthur’s only been here since April…it’s been tricky. But, we have had one meeting here about adoption – we got in touch with a friend who had been through the process and they put us in contact with people they worked with. It’s good to know someone who has done it because it’s a very difficult to know where to start! But yes, we’re going to focus on adoption in Ireland and see how far we get and how successful we are.
You can tell you two would be such great dads.
I don’t know how good I’d be if I was tired! [Laughs] I do like my sleep! Arthur is very good though. He’s good under pressure. The baby would be on TikTok within days!
You guys marked five years of marriage in July. How did you celebrate?
We went to Adare Manor with some friends and it was just gorgeous. It was so nice to get to celebrate it with our loved ones who we hadn’t seen in a while, we had a ball.
How do you sum up the past half decade as husbands?
I’m going to let Arthur answer that, to see what he has to say!
Arthur: Do you know what, sometimes, I want to kill him [laughs] Like every couple, it’s not roses all the time…
Brian: Lies! It’s roses all the time!
A: But I would never change him for the world. Even if he annoys me so much sometimes – even now… [suddenly changes tack] no really, it has been amazing.
Did Brian just give you a dig, Arthur?
[Both cackle]
A: Yes! He did!
B: Ha! Ah, really though, we don’t argue, it’s always little tiffs or winding each other up, but it’s always dealt with straight away, and that’s key.
A: We never hold grudges. And we make each other laugh in every situation. When I say we’re always laughing, I mean it’s 24/7! Until we go asleep, I don’t stop laughing.
B: He actually has started posting creepy videos of me asleep. I wake up the next day with notifications being like “Arthur, what the f***!” It’s like being back on Big Brother! [laughs] One thing I love about us is that we’re very independent and happy to do our own thing. There’s massive trust between us, and respect. When you have that, the sky’s the limit in your relationship. Plus, Arthur needs to realise I’m the hottest he’s ever going to get!
A: Oh, please! [howls laughing]
Despite all the happy times, there have been tough times too, that you’ve helped each other through. Like losing your mum suddenly in 2018, Brian, which has inspired a very moving podcast on grief…
Yes, the concept – two people sitting down and having an honest conversation on death and loss and grief, something people tend to not do – was created by myself, Arthur and Donal (Skehan). It took me a year and a half to get into the mindspace to do it. We made seven episodes as seven is our favourite number, and it went to number one in the podcast charts – it was so successful. It’s the number one thing I get messages about every day; it’s incredible to see how many people it has helped with their own grieving. It was a no-brainer that I’d come back for a second series, which I’m recording at the moment. I’m not just going to focus on the loss of a parent this time, but the loss of a partner, or a sibling, or a child. It’ll be tough but they are conversations that need to happen. Y’know, this podcast is probably the thing I’m most proud of in my career because I’ve had such an emotional, creative input into it.
What have you learned about grieving from the guests you’ve had on the show?
Talking is therapy, it really is. I have used my interviews with my guests as therapy, and took so many lessons from them. Like, it’s ok to talk to a photograph…it’s ok to not want to visit the grave…you can feel much guilt about things, and to speak to other people going through the same thing, it can massively help how you are feeling. Then again, talking may help me but it may not work for someone else, so what I will say to that person is: don’t be ashamed to seek help. There is no failure in admitting you need help.
Absolutely, Brian. So, we have to ask about the recent controversy over Big Brother: Best Shows Ever, from which you were notably missing – despite hosting Big Brother for six seasons…
This is the first time I’ve talked about it to anyone, but yes, the drama over it was completely unexpected. I knew the show was coming up and they asked me to send a 10-second video to say thank you to Davina McCall and Rylan. My initial thought was that I didn’t leave the show on the best terms, it wasn’t handled the best way. So, I declined to send them the clip.
When you say you didn’t leave on the best of terms, what do you mean?
Well, I went into the Big Brother house in 2001 and won it, which completely changed my life, it was an amazing experience. I went back in 2010 and was crowned the Ultimate Housemate of all time, and I went on to host for six whole seasons from 2011-2013. Then, I found out that I was being replaced as a presenter by reading a story in a tabloid newspaper, and it took the production company a further four weeks to confirm it. After they replaced me, there was zero aftercare; not once did I receive a card, flowers, or even a “how are you?” So to not get proper recognition for my role on the show, and to only be asked to send in a 10-second video, it felt personal.
So, you feel you could have been better looked after as a presenter?
Yes. Nobody knows what I went through during those six seasons on the show; nobody knows the things that were said to me or the pressure I was under. I carried a lot of anger and hurt for a long time because of my experience. I just shut my mouth because I was so appreciative of the opportunity, and I never stood up for myself. As a contestant, your mental health is looked after, but as a host… well, I felt like I was chewed up and spat out. It was a dark time for me; I left my apartment covering my face with a hoodie because I was so mortified to have been dropped like that. I turned down opportunities afterwards because my confidence was so affected; I felt useless. I felt my character and how I operate professionally was put into question. I gained a lot of weight because I was just comfort eating. I was very uncomfortable hosting the show too, you can even see it towards the end, with my weight gain. Food is my thing when I’m agitated – people think it might be alcohol but it’s food!
And the …Best Shows Ever broadcast brought it all up again…
People were tweeting me asking why I wasn’t part of the show, so I admitted that I was uncomfortable to not have been even referenced in a chat between all the presenters. Then Davina tweeted to her 2.7 million followers that I had been asked to take part, without making it clear that it was only to supply a 10-second video clip, and that hurt me. I felt like that tweet created a lot of negativity towards me. I was disappointed, as she didn’t know the reasons why I turned down sending in the video clip. I hosted that show for six seasons, I took it over from her when it went from Channel 4 to Channel 5, and there has only ever been three hosts; Davina, me and Emma Willis. In the chat they were all having on the show, it seemed like I was purposely left out and it just made me uncomfortable. All I wanted was a bit of proper recognition, something I have never asked for until now.
It all sounds like an awful experience, Brian.
Being a contestant was incredible, but hosting the show definitely wasn’t as an amazing experience for me. There are so many things I could talk about. For example, there was an issue with my accent; I was told to sound less Irish. I found that bizarre; I had won the show twice, had been screen-tested to host it, and suddenly there was an issue with my accent? And the atmosphere became very strange; it went from hugs on set to me being frozen out, and I don’t know why. I should have put my foot down, but I didn’t. I’ve learned since that you should never be afraid to speak your truth. Arthur helped me to do that, he encouraged me to finally stand up for myself with this.
A: Brian has always held his head up high, but sometimes enough is enough. I would never push him to do anything, but the latest incident was the cherry on the cake. I understand the fear of speaking out, in case it affects future jobs, but I knew that he had to this time. Brian had done nothing wrong.
B: Arthur had the boxing gloves on! [Laughs] In a way, how I dealt with all of this has showed me my personal growth. If it happened five years ago, I would have handled it completely differently. At the end of the day, you have to turn every negative situation into a positive, and I think speaking up in the way that I have, and standing up for myself, is a good thing. I’m putting it all behind me now and moving forward with my head held high.
It sounds like working in tv is such a difficult industry. What is it that keeps you hooked?
I came into this career totally unplanned – but there is something so amazing about television to me. It stems from watching tv with my mum as a child; Dynasty, Dallas, Glenroe, Winning Streak, Play The Game with Twink…all those shows brought me so much joy. To be able to work in the industry myself is just incredible to me. When I present The Real Housewives of Cheshire on ITV, I still get nervous bubbles in my stomach, for that three…two…one moment. I still get excited by being on a set. Yes, it’s a tough industry, it absolutely is, but for me… it’s worth it.
Interview: Niamh Devereux
Photography: Lili Forberg
Styling: Megan Fox