34 per cent of Irish adults have experienced some sort of stigma or judgement when it comes to their fertility.
New research commissioned by Sims IVF found that we’re still not open about the journies many people go on to become parents, from miscarriages to struggles to conceive to IVF, we’re still so shut off about the entire topic.
VIP Magazine talked to Karen Ferguson, Director of Nursing and Clinical Services at Sims IVF following new research which examined infertility in Ireland.
Almost half (46%) of adults surveyed have had experience with fertility issues, either personally or through someone they know. The incidence rises to 60% amongst younger adults, aged between 25-34.
Karen, tell us about the stigma around fertility in Ireland.
It all started when we did some research about the stigma around infertility. Because we’re working in the sector we are very aware of it. We wanted to go out to the public and survey people in Ireland just to see what the overall result would be. The main theme was that people felt pressure or that they were being asked very invasive questions, and some people felt they were having humour directed at them, sarcasm, and unsolicited comments directed towards them because of the stigma around fertility.
About 51% of people felt that education would be the best step towards addressing it. Whenever we look at why it is a taboo subject, historically in Ireland especially, people would have always had families a lot younger, and would have had a larger family. Things have changed a lot in society recently that thats not really the norm anymore. People have a lot more opportunities now in terms of their career, wanting to travel, and for whatever reason, delaying starting a family.
We’re often still quite traditional in Ireland in many ways and we can really shy away from these conversations. So that’s why we wanted to get the research out there and do the panel event to get more people talking and raise awareness about infertility. The more conversations we have about these topics the less taboo they become and the easier it is for people to bring it up in conversation and to be able to talk to their friends and families about it and minimise that stigma that can be associated and making it more mainstream.
We’re very comfortable with asking people when they’re starting a family…
I got married last year, and it’s insane, I get it now! You’re barely back from the honeymoon and people are asking you, and it’s probably worse for people who have secondary infertility, so that is when you have a child already and you’re struggling to have another. For people who already have a child, there’s this notion that they can get pregnant no problem but that is not always the case.
When people are coming to us and they are struggling with secondary infertility, they often get the most questions because people don’t even consider that they could be having problems. Like you already have a child, when’s the next one coming, when are you going to get them a few siblings?
That must be very hard for people who are struggling with infertility.
It’s the comments, it’s the off-the-cuff comments. People don’t understand, and that’s what it is, there’s a lack of understanding about the prevalence of fertility struggles. If we even had more sensitive conversations, people might be more comfortable saying ‘We actually are trying’. Instead of asking in a room full of people or in the workplace, it can be really hurtful when you aren’t expecting a question and you had a really bad day, or you got bad news, or you’re going through treatment and it’s not going well, there are so many different emotions involved with it, that a bit more sensitivity would go a long way.
Have you seen more people going down the IVF route? It’s a very normal thing to do now, but is it more popular in recent years?
It’s not where it needs to be in terms of talking about it, but it has got so much better. If you look at the likes of people who aren’t ready to have children yet who are freezing their eggs, that’s become much more popular than what it was 10 years ago, it was practically unheard of 10 years ago for somebody to freeze their eggs for social reasons, it would be more for medical or oncology reasons. But now that has become a lot more prevalent, and a lot more talked about. We definitely do see an increase in people having the treatment in the last few years. There is more of an openness about looking into other treatment options. And for the first time ever in Ireland, we have HSE funding for a certain group of people, not for everybody, but if you meet the criteria that’s a massive help. It means the people who potentially previously would have had to wait for a long time, or wouldn’t be able to afford treatment, can now access it.
The funding is still quite narrow, but do you think it’s an acceptable stepping stone?
Oh, absolutely it’s great to even get the government talking about it and to recognise that there is a need for it there. A lot of people who cannot have children naturally, in a lot of cases, are for a medical reason, it is not through any fault of their own. It is great to get recognition for these types of people. It is quite narrow at the minute, but it is a massive step. The funding they’ve put towards it is fantastic. Even though it doesn’t cover everybody yet, that’s often how these things start. They promised to look at it again in the future, so we must hope it will come and become more inclusive. It is a starting point that we thought might never happen.
In the study it is seen as a ‘women’s issue’, is there a way to get men talking?
Yeah, it’s a difficult thing for women to talk about, but even more so for men. Loosely speaking about 30% of infertility issues are female, 30% male, and the rest is a combination or unknown. It is as much a male issue as it is female, that is not talked about at all. It is seen as a woman’s problem and men are really isolated from the conversation. Men often do find it harder, and I don’t want to generalise all men, but they often do find it harder to open up about their mental health or about different problems that they are having. There is not that much awareness or education for men. It’s not their fault, it’s just how our society kind of is. But by doing all of this, by doing these awareness campaigns we hope it will hit the male market as well as the female market and it will get a bit of a conversation going. It is that case where everybody knows somebody that has been affected, whether that’s themselves or somebody that they’re close with, once you get talking to someone, they will know someone else going through the same thing. It’s about trying to start that conversation and make people comfortable about that.
Especially with the older traditional generation, there can be stigma because they don’t fully understand it. I do think Ireland has become a lot more progressive, we do find that the younger generation are getting better at being more open about these things.
Surely this study has opened a lot of people’s eyes, our’s included, to the reality of fertility struggles in Ireland?
That is the purpose of it, to make people feel like this is a normal thing that we should all be talking about, and the more we talk about it the more people will hopefully normalise the conversation a little bit more. Even for me, I come from a nursing background. We learn about the cycle, but we didn’t have any proper education geared towards IVF or even the scientific side, it was all very basic, how your cycle works and how a pregnancy works but after that even as a healthcare professional, until you actually work in fertility, you don’t even realise how prevalent it is. Midwives are saying they are having a lot more people coming in and saying they went through IVF to have a family; people don’t realise the prevalence of it.
Do you think being more open about infertility and IVF will help people get more comfortable with going down that route?
Oh yeah absolutely, you often find people will talk about it more after they’re pregnant or after having the baby they’ll talk about it at a later point whenever they’re past the trauma. When you’re going through it you don’t necessarily want to speak about it, you’re going through a lot and you have a lot on your mind already, you don’t want to be asked a million questions by somebody in the office when you are potentially in a difficult situation already. Generally, if there is more of an awareness out there, if it’s in media coverage, celebrities speaking out, it does make a huge difference. You help to normalise that conversation a little bit.
In the study, 14% of people have said it should remain a taboo subject, is there anything you would say to those people?
I think it just comes down to education and misconceptions. We are historically a religious country as well, there are people who will just never change their opinion on it and that’s ok, you’re going to get that with everything. But I have faith in Ireland that we will continue to get better. I hope that is a minority and it continues to be less and less as time goes on. A lot of older generations have this opinion on it until their daughter goes through it or their son goes through it, or they know someone who’s going through it, and they see that, and they find out more about it and educate themselves on it. A lot of it is about just having access to information on it.