Aoibhin Garrihy has opened up about how her life has changed since becoming a mum.
The actress welcomed baby Hanorah with her husband John Burke this summer, and says it’s hard to find the time for self-care, but that it is incredibly important.
“It’s probably the time where you put your own wellbeing way down on the list,” she told VIP Magazine.
Aoibhin reveals that having a good support network makes a big difference.
“I’ve been in situations where my husband has come in the door and been like ‘just go’ and I’ll say ‘no I can’t leave her she’s unsettled’ and it’s the hardest thing if she’s not going to sleep or she’s crying and the timing isn’t good, but John pushes me out the door. I think if you have that kind of support it’s great.
“So then I’m cursing him as I leave but when I come back I realise it’s exactly what I needed. Even if it’s a fifteen-minute walk, or a swim or even going to get your hair washed – it’s so important.
“The quote I love is ‘self-care is never selfish’ because you can’t serve from an empty vessel, and it’s so true.
“For me, it varies but sometimes I just need a shower and it’s all I want or let me go to the shop and let me do the groceries without someone hanging off me, but other times, something like swimming really works for me,”
The former Dancing with the Stars contestant explained that everyone – not just new mums – need to look after themselves, but that different things work for different people.
“For my husband, who works in the hospitality industry surrounded by people and comfort of hotel food, he just wants to get out to the side of the mountain even in the lashing rain and he’s happy out.
“Then I know for Doireann, my sister, her brain is always on overdrive so a massage for her just doesn’t do it, she can’t switch off, whereas I would love it! So I think finding what works for you is really important.”
She added: “For years I thought I needed to be in the gym but now I know that’s not what does it for me, that was more of a chore, whereas now I love staying active as long as it’s on my terms so for me that’s being near the sea and being surrounded by nature -that for me is therapy.”
Aoibhin explains that although the same type of self-care works for her as before she welcomed Hanorah, it’s hard to find the time now.
“I have learned to be very efficient with my time and super organised, otherwise, things wouldn’t get done. I do wonder what I did with my time before I had her to be honest.
“I think now why did I not do more while I could!” she laughs.
“But with Hanorah it does change in the sense that you need to plan, but [looking after yourself] still needs to happen so you just need to make it work.”
For Aoibhin and John their family have proven to be of huge help, espcially when she doesn’t have a 9 to 5 job.
“Someone said to me it takes a village and it really does, I would be lost without my family and John’s family.
“We exhaust both! But when you’re freelancing you don’t have the luxury of maternity leave and you’re three months in you’re relying on family for a lot,” she said.
When discussing what kind of aunts her sisters Ailbhe and Doireann are, Aoibhin they are both ‘mad about her’.
“Ailbhe’s always been broody, she’s been broody since she was two. Doireann is waiting for Hanorah to be old enough that she can do impressions of her” she joked.
“She’s waiting till she can have the craic with her, she loves kids too but when they are a little sturdier and bigger.”
With pregnancy and having your first child, a lot of advice can come flying in – something Aoibhin says is overwhelming.
“You get a lot of advice and that’s the problem, there are too many opinions, and it seems that when people are pregnant or have kids you become public property and they feel the need to impose their views on you or share their own opinions,” she explained.
“I think the best advice that I got was that I know best. There is no rule book when it comes to me and my baby because I’m different and she’s different and we’ll find our own way.
The star added that routine doesn’t always work.
“We don’t have routines, and someone might think that is the worst advice they’ve ever heard but it works for us to be a little more spontaneous.”
“Like when someone asks how many hours sleep she gets I don’t know, sometimes she sleeps a lot sometimes she doesn’t sleep so well, sometimes she eats a lot sometimes she doesn’t.
“If you get too regimental you can get stressed and you will ask why is my baby not doing the things that the baby does in the book.
“Go with your gut. With everything.”
Aoibhin spoke about the importance of looking after yourself at launch of The LloydsPharmacy Change Your Health Direction programme.
This is a FREE 8-week programme offering people the chance to kick start their health journey for 2019 with a personal transformation plan and make long term improvements in areas including smoking cessation, nutrition advice, weight management, low energy levels, trouble sleeping, blood pressure and more.
