At 47, Amanda Byram is in the best shape of her life, both mentally and physically, but for over two decades she was trapped in a cycle of yo-yo dieting and self-criticism, convinced that unless she was ‘perfect’ she wouldn’t be happy or worthy.
By the time she reached her 40th birthday, she was mentally and physically exhausted … something had to change. Here, in this excerpt from her new book The Switch, Amanda offers readers her simple and life- changing techniques she used to get herself off the ‘perfection treadmill’ and shares her tips on how to achieve long-term zen.
SWITCHING OFF SOCIAL MEDIA
Roll up, roll up. The School of Social Media is in session! Imagine a school with a totally toxic environment, where bullying is acceptable. A school where everything you say or believe in is up for scrutiny. At the end of each day an assembly is held where you stand under a spotlight and take criticism for how you looked, worked out, acted, what you did and said that day; basically how you live your life.
Each day the loudspeaker in the assembly would be taken over by the mean girls spewing and spitting about how great their lives are and how yours isn’t, how ripped their abs are, and yours aren’t, how happy their relationships are, and yours is not. You absolutely hate this school and it makes you sad every morning you wake up and realise you have to go and be a part of it. You desperately want to leave the school, in fact you have tried to run away a few times and delete its address from your phone, but for some reason, you keep going back because you think that if you are not a part of it, you might be perceived as an outsider, a freak, someone who has no friends and no life.
Now, imagine it was you who applied to this school in the first place. It was you who sought it out, put your name down, gave your information, your photo albums, and it is you who updates it every day with your thoughts, your food preferences, your love life and sometimes your children’s lives, even though you knew that sometimes the mean girls would scrutinise them. And not just that, you stand by, you listen, you watch, and sometimes without even knowing it, you join in and become a part of the mean girl gang. Sometimes, other girls and boys, and often strangers, will tell you how much they love you. This makes you happy because the only thing you really want from this school is to be accepted, popular and loved. In fact just ‘liked’ will do – as many likes as possible.
If you haven’t guessed by now, this school is an analogy for social media and it’s often the worst kind of school, group, gang or community to be a part of. Yet we wake up every morning, put on our proverbial knee socks and line up back at the door again.
I myself am on social media; it is an integral part of my job, and so I completely understand the need to be involved, visible or at least connected. However, what is not healthy is engaging with it constantly, checking your phone, sharing untruthful, unrealistic, filtered posts. Stop comparing your life with others. Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out? Try spending less time on social media and caring less what anyone thinks of your photos and videos. You will find the path to Zen much more quickly.
SLEEP
Going to bed with too many thoughts can destroy a good night’s sleep, and a bad night’s sleep will ruin your day. You will be tired, run down and grumpy. It’s also important not to watch TV in bed, and without a doubt, leave your phone in another room. Your phone, social media, emails, phone calls have absolutely no place in your sleep sanctuary.
Seeing an email about work will spark your brain into productivity mode, and watching a video on social media will make you spiral into a plethora of thought patterns; the last thing you need before drifting off into a fluffy cloud nirvana.
To convince you further, all of these devices emit blue light, which increases the risk of eyesight degeneration. Blue light also suppresses melatonin, a hormone made by your brain that helps to control your daily sleep- wake cycles. This hero hormone is not only important for healthy sleep patterns, it is also anti- ageing, anti-inflammatory, and has antioxidant effects.
GET PHYSICAL AU NATUREL
It is no secret that daily exercise provides us with countless benefits both physically and mentally. A lot of research shows that the average westerner is getting a lot less light during the day and being exposed to more light at night. This messes with our circadian rhythms and in turn has consequences for our physical and mental health.
Training outdoors can eliminate stress levels and improve mood significantly. Very often we go from one indoor space (work or home) to the next (the gym) and back home again. Even though we go outdoors to get there, realistically we are simply moving between two indoor spaces.
Switching from an indoor gym to outdoor exercise has been proven to help boost mental health. Taking deep breaths comes more naturally when training outdoors and these deep breaths can also help you to feel a lot more calm and alleviate a busy mind.
It’s not necessary to run a marathon to feel these benefits; simply walking briskly through the park, incorporating some step-ups on a park bench or jogging up some outdoor steps will do the trick.
SWITCH TIPS
- By its very nature, the word ‘stress’ is stressful. Switch the word out and instead use something fun and trivial, like funky or squashy.
- Stress in high doses is not only counter-productive; it can also mess with your health. Imagine a glass of stirred salty water slowly stopping swirling. By the time it has settled, your pattern interrupt should have somewhat silenced your stress (yes, I know that’s a lot of Ss!)
- Breathe. A basic function, I know; but the most vital. So do it more, and do it slowly.
- Switch social media apps to some meditation apps. There are plenty of free or paid-for apps out there, such as Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place meditations on Alexa or Calm, Headspace or Unplug.
- Make sure you switch o all screens at least an hour before you go to bed. Blue light can play havoc with your sleep patterns.
- Switch the word ‘busy’ to ‘productive’. You will find this simple word change will reframe how you view your schedule, and your work-life balance will be more stable.
- Take time out and incorporate multiple shorter workouts, stretches or movements throughout each day. This can be more beneficial than one long workout. Keep moving!
This is an edited extract from The Switch by Amanda Byram published by Gill Books priced at €22.99 available nationwide.
