Lorraine and her girls, Emelia and Romy, have us in stitches. They’re showing us photos on their phones of one of their dogs with eyebrows, which they had (gently) eye-pencilled on! We’re falling around the place laughing because a blonde-haired dog with dark eyebrows looks well odd!
This doggie glow-up happened one hot afternoon, when they were away in France – all four of them – on a family holiday. Out for dinner later that evening they had forgotten to remove the pencil marks until someone at the next table commented on the dog with the big beautiful eyebrows!
Lest you’re worried about doggie welfare, let us reassure you right now, that if ever there were pampered pooches, these dogs, Slipper and Chip, are it. Chip is the older of thetwo dogs and isn’t so mad on the cuddles, but Slipper is a different kettle of fish. Slipper, says Lorraine messing, “is my favourite child”! No guesses as to why this might be the case – Slipper only has eyes for Lorraine and follows her around adoringly with these big puppy eyes. “Slipper is needy and insecure, just like me, so we feed each other’s insecurities”, she says half joking.
Perhaps years ago, this may have applied more – not so much now. Lorraine is so comfortable in her own skin. Turning 50, she says, changed her, made her care less, but care more about the things that truly matter. What truly matters, she tells us today, is family; her girls “they make me so proud”, her husband musician Peter Devlin, “he’s my favourite person to spend time with”, and her extended family of mum, dad, five sisters, one brother and a gaggle of nieces and nephews, totalling a whopping 36. “My family are very funny, they are very entertaining”, she says smiling. With such an infectious positivity and joie de vivre, this all-rounder (presenter, podcaster, author, founder of sustainable fashion charity initiative, Fashion Relief) is a joy to be around. She tells us about her natural ability to make “a short story long”(!), about how her parents separation makes her mind her own marriage and how she’s embracing this new chapter in life with her beautiful daughters grown but not yet flown…
Lorraine, we had the most fun day with you guys at home in Monkstown, Dublin. You’re so warm and welcoming and you have a lovely happy home.
Aw, thank you. Having a photoshoot at home, you always have the added pressure of making sure the house is not looking a state! But as I’ve gotten older, I really don’t sweat the small stuff like I used to. I still care, obviously, but I care less. I used to talk about the fact that my husband Peter is so laid-back and that he peaks at grand whereas I peak at fan-flippin’-tastic! Now I’m actually – almost – peaking at grand, too! I’ve changed!
That change, that turning point, when or why did it happen?
I think it was turning 50. And then myself and Peter lost five friends who barely managed to make it to 50, in the space of 6 years, and that just puts everything in perspective. I do count my blessings every day for my health and the health of my husband and children. I know we are truly blessed and that’s all that matters really. And also going into perimenopause and menopause so early, that had an impact on me too.
No sign of Peter in any of our shots today, we missed him!
He’s the most camera-shy musician I have ever met! As much as I would love him to be in the shoot with us, I totally respect that he’s not comfortable doing it, but also, I slightly admire him not wanting to be in the limelight! Because that would give me the ick! He’s there to support me in lots of other ways, he was the one that was moving stuff around the house last night getting ready, taking directions from his very stressed wife, hiding things behind doors!
The house looks perfect today!
Our house is a home, I’ve never had any desire to live in a showhouse and I think that’s another thing that happens with age, as well. When I was younger, I wanted everything to look perfect. And now I realise there is no such thing – there’s no such thing as the perfect home, or the perfect marriage. In fact, I say to the girls all the time, don’t strive for perfection because it’s not possible, and anyway there’s no fun in perfect. You need flaws.
Flaws make us human. One of the great highlights of the day was that we got to walk into your walk-in wardrobe. It’s our favourite room in your house, is it yours?!
Yes, absolutely, and it was always the girls’ favourite room when they were small. And when they’d have playdates, they’d always ask, ‘Mum can we play in your wardrobe?’. They were allowed touch and feel and try on everything, the only rule I had was that they couldn’t try on the shoes with the red soles [laughs]! And the reason for that was because it’s an old house with old wooden holey floorboards.
You must have some very special pieces in that wardrobe?
I have pieces in my wardrobe that I’ve had for 30 years. I have my first pair of designer boots, a pair of Prada ones that I bought in BT’s with my first salary from AA Roadwatch. It was the entire monthly salary and because I spent all my money on the boots, I’d no money to go out, so I sat in for four weekends in a row wearing the boots watching The Late Late Show [laughs]! That will show you my priorities but the boots are still there, they’re perfect and I still wear them! I look after all my pieces because I have worked very hard for them. A lot of my other pieces would be pre-loved, or as we used to say second-hand, and I love when you can buy a beautiful designer piece with beautiful tailoring and fabric for a fraction of the price.
Your love of pre-loved pieces and your idea to give back is what sparked the idea for Fashion Relief, isn’t it?
Yes, I have volunteered with Irish charities and travelled to the developing world for the last 15 years. My last trip was to Bangladesh. I spoke to women who work in the factories, who earn so little they can’t afford to feed themselves. They have no access to health care, medicine, sanitary products – they live in overcrowded slums, they are barely surviving. Everything they earn goes back to their families. I came home from that trip and said to Peter I want to do more. Not just talk about what I’ve seen to help Irish charities, I want to do my own fundraiser for them too. Peter said well whatever you do make sure it’s something you love because knowing you you will end up giving it a lot of your time. I love fashion but I looked at this beautiful wardrobe and thought, ‘I have way too much stuff’. So I decided to sell off half my wardrobe.
And Fashion Relief was born….
Yep! I met up with my friend Emer Mullins, who worked in the charity sector at the time, and told her what I wanted to do. I put the word out through all my contacts in the media and women all over the country did wardrobe clear-outs for Fashion Relief. Boutiques and wholesalers gave us their unwanted stock, designers gave us their samples and Fashion Relief was born – a massive pre-loved fashion event in the RDS. That was almost eight years ago. During Covid we went online with Fashion Relief TV which I presented every Friday from my home. And then when things started to open again we opened a boutique in the Frascati Centre which is still there to this day and raising money for Breast Cancer Ireland. The purpose of Fashion Relief is to raise as much money as we can so I always ask people and businesses if they can give their time, talent, product, service or skill for free I will mention them at every opportunity I get publicly. And I do! So here we go [laughs] I couldn’t do Fashion Relief without people like Tony Lanigan at CT Ireland, Nigel Gallagher and Ian Stewart from Actavo, Gavin Divilly at Cater Hire, Nesta Storage, Mary Keane and her team at Kilkenny Design Shop, Daragh Ward and Clare McHugh from Axonista, as well as, Viv Gaine, Director at Frascati Centre.
Job done! How much have you raised so far for your current charity partner, Breast Cancer Ireland?
Well, we’re celebrating two years now with Breast Cancer Ireland and already we’ve raised over €600,000!
That’s incredible, congratulations. You must get such a feel-good buzz running an enterprise as such?
I love it. Clearly one of my passions is fashion, but to be able to properly make a difference feels good. And it’s like having my own little boutique without any of the hassle of buyingstock and hoping it sells! Because we don’t buy anything so everything is profit for the charity.
A career high for you, no doubt?
Absolutely. Apart from my girls, the two things I’m most proud of are Fashion Relief and being the first person in Ireland, the UK and the US to talk about perimenopause and menopause publicly. And the reason I did that was to get rid of the stigma attached to it. I think we have achieved that in the last 12 years I’ve been talking about it. But at the time I was really worried about going public with my story because this business can be quite ageist to women in particular, and also because it’s quite a personal thing. It was such a taboo, there was such a stigma attached to it at the time, even some of my contemporaries thought I was mad opening up. But now honestly It has been one of the best things I’ve ever done.
It’s not as ageist anymore, sure it’s not? All the conversations had have really helped.
Now we’re all talking about it and are not embarrassed or ashamed. It’s just another natural life stage in our hormonal journey as women, we don’t have these stages in our life by choice, they were given to us. We need to talk about it and by talking we’re sharing and therefore supporting each other. The company I work with, Cleanmarine Menomin, I’ve them to thank as well. Because not only does their supplement work for me and so many women – and is the only clinically proven supplement on the market – but they funded a tour for me and a whole panel of experts around the country to educate women and talk about symptoms and options. All these discussions helped.
Another life stage reached is this new parenting phase with your girls all grown but not yet flown. How are you adapting to this new chapter?
Well, I’ve enjoyed every phase of the girls, but this new phase is so lovely, too – we’re great friends, I love their company. And – I don’t
fear this stage, I really don’t. Maybe it’s because I’m happy? Peter is my favourite person to hang out with and he still makes me laugh and for that reason I don’t dread it. Throughout the girls’ lives we would have always taken time out just the two of us, we go out on our own for a meal or even go away for weekends, I think it’s really important and I think I’m more conscious of it because my parents split up after 23 years of marriage and seven children. From the second eldest of seven children who observed quite a lot, I think they were so busy doing their jobs that they just lost sight of each other. And I think that’s sad because they were a great couple together and we were an amazing family. And thank God we are all still extremely close, I have five sisters and a brother and my parents have 20 grandchildren and one in heaven. We are all very lucky we are still together although mum and dad are apart. But I was just very conscious of that not happening to Peter and I.
Maybe it explains why you, impressively, bought your first house at 20? You were nesting, craving a home.
It was also possible for young people to get on the property ladder then. But it probably was the reason – I did, I think, grow up very quickly. I was between the ages of 18 and 20 when they separated and it was very hard. But thankfully we didn’t lose a parent. There are families out there who have been broken up by illness or death and that wasn’t our situation so I used to say that to the little ones, to my four younger sisters, ‘Mum and dad mightn’t love each other anymore but they love you the exact same. Their love hasn’t changed. And they’re not sick or dying, they’re still with us’. And that’s the most important thing. My favourite thing to do in the world is to hang out with my family, my siblings and all the nieces and nephews when we all get together. It’s just amazing, all 36 of us, and it was lovely there recently at a barbecue in my sister Tori’s house to be able to say to mum and dad that they created all of this.
You love hanging out with family with a passion, you also love sea swimming. In fact, you’re not long back from an icy dip!
Yes and for somebody that is a cold creature, is not a strong swimmer and was actually afraid of the sea – I couldn’t go out of my depth in any ocean and I’d hear jaws music – all my family are still in shock, they’re like, “What, you Lors, swimming?”! I don’t know if it’s proof that I’m half mad or if it’s the thing that keeps me from going mad, but I try to swim with Peter all year round! There’s such a lovely community around sea swimming too. Sometimes I go down on my own but you’re never on your own, really. Everyone is so happy because that’s what the sea does for you. It helps you mentally, physically and emotionally.
You do seem so content Lorraine, it’s lovely to see it. And you’re busy too, work is flying!
I am very busy, which is great. I’m a brand ambassador for various lovely Irish brands and a great thing about ageing is I will only work with brands and people that I genuinely love. Unless it’s something I use and do myself I’m not interested. I started a lovely campaign and designed this heat regulating mattress with Des Kelly Interiors. And they are the most gorgeous family. I’ve been working with Cleanmarine too for 12 years. Renault and the lovely Joe Mallon Motors family and Dylan Bradshaw, I’m a brand ambassador for them for 12 years as well. For me it’s just really important to work with nice people. I’m also starting a new campaign next month that I can’t share with you yet. It’s got women’s health at its core so I’m very excited about that.
You’ve your own brand too…
Yes, I created my own gradual tan with Irish company BeautiEdit Cosmetics because I wanted a faux tan I could use every day that had a beautiful smell, that not only tanned but also hydrated my skin with skin-loving ingredients like vitamin B5. It’s called Decadence by Lorraine Keane and it has been endorsed by Professor Caitriona Ryan at The Institute of Dermatologists to be used on your face and body every day and it will not clog your pores. You can also use it on problem, sensitive or allergy prone skin. And it will never ever streak.
Sold! You’re also back on the RTÉ’s Today Show, too.
It’s been lovely working with The Today Show. Being self-employed has been amazing, having all that time with the girls has been brilliant, I’ve managed to keep working, doing the things I love and the fact that I had the freedom to own my own diary has been fabulous. But in the last few years it has been lovely presenting, being on telly again, that is something I adore doing, and also working with a team because being self-employed can be a bit lonely sometimes. I wrote the book ten years ago and people say would you ever write a book again, no way! It was the loneliest, most boring thing I’ve ever done in my life, just sitting there tapping away on a computer, great to have it written down now, but no thanks! It’s just lovely to be part of a tv family. I’m a people’s person, love people, feed off them.
Well, Lorraine, thank you for the loveliest day and for opening the doors to your gorgeous home, it’s been a pleasure.
Thank you, VIP! You’ve been here many times over the last 23 years, from the first day we moved in! And we’re both still going [laughs]. Here’s to many more years of health and happiness. We’ve a lot to be grateful for.
