From a young age, Kayleigh Trappe always dreamed big, wanting to take to the stage in one way or another, but struggles with body image and self-confidence pushed it to the back of her mind. A couple of years ago, Kayleigh decided to change everything up, and working on both her mental and physical health, the 29-year-old Monaghan woman transformed her life. Now, her lifestyle and career is something her past self could have only wished for.
“I get emotional even thinking about it and about the younger Kayleigh. Honestly, she wouldn’t believe it. She’d be in utter disbelief, but also delighted. I spent years of my life living behind the fear of what people think, feeling like I wouldn’t be capable of achieving anything. I’m so proud of myself now, I really am.”
These days, the former teacher is not only working as a content creator, making daily lip-sync videos where she impersonates some of the biggest names around the globe for her legions of followers online, but she’s also kick-started her acting career with a stint on Fair City and now she’s shaking and shimmying along the dance floor with her partner Ervinas Merfeldas each week on Dancing with the Stars.
Here, Kayleigh talks about finding her own feet, her journey to self love and overcoming imposter syndrome.
Kayleigh, you came straight from training for Dancing with the Stars to our shoot today, how are you finding it all?
I’m loving every single part of it. It’s full on and a big commitment, but it’s worth it. When you’re watching as an audience member, you see those few minutes on telly but not what goes on behind the scenes. I didn’t know what to expect. Everything from the singalongs
before we go live to yapping about Spanx in the dressing room, it’s just a blast. I’m sure people say it every year, but we’ve truly been blessed with this group, everyone has become such good friends. There’s blood, sweat and tears that go into it, but I’m having the time of my life. This show is doing more for me on a personal level than the public will ever see.
How so?
My own confidence is building all the time, it’s helping me change my way of thinking. Plus I’m enjoying the physical challenge of it.
Talk to us about the training. They must be long, tiring days?
It comes down to what you put into it. If you don’t want to do a Monday or you’d prefer to do a short day here or there, that’s fine but the way I see it, if I don’t put in the hours, I won’t know the dance. For example with the recent storms, we weren’t allowed to dance until they cleared. The first thing I thought of wasn’t ‘happy days, we’ve some time off’, it was, ‘oh no we need the practice!’ As I was a teacher, I love the idea and routine of working 9am-3pm. You get in early and out again before it’s dark. I work best that way and fortunately my partner is the same so it worked out well for us both. It’s tiring though.
You’re probably on such a high so how do you decompress and wind down each evening?
In the evenings I get home at a nice time so I go straight for a hot shower and have a good meal. I live with my boyfriend and two other lads so getting home to a bit of normality, chatting about what’s happening in the GAA or anything at all, it’s brilliant. My parents are coming up this evening to see me. That’s the one thing I miss a lot, not being able to see my family as much. I haven’t really been home since Christmas purely just because I don’t have time but they’ve been coming to the shows.
You’re smashing it on the show, you’ve even be tipped as one of the front runners to win by the bookies. What do you make of that?
I thought it was hilarious because before I had even stepped foot onto the dance floor the bookies had released that and I was thinking, c’mon lads, on what grounds?! I hadn’t so much as shown a shimmy yet! I don’t know where it came from [laughs]. Pressure is for tyres and bra straps – I wouldn’t bat an eyelid over that kind of thing but it was nice to know people had faith in me for whatever reason!
Are you competitive in nature?
I would be competitive, but that being said, it’s more so with myself than anyone else. One of the weeks I didn’t get the best feedback from the judges, I was annoyed for myself. I’m my own worst enemy and that’s across the board with everything I do in life, but I don’t compare myself to other people. I’d have been big into sport over the years, I was always pretty bad at it but loved it anyway for the craic. This is the first time I’ve competed in something that I feel like I might be able to do myself justice in. It’s a nice feeling, it’s not something I’ve felt before.
It takes a lot to get up on stage and perform for the nation week on week. Would you be very confident?
It’s a lot! As far as putting on a show, I block out the cameras, the audience and try to forget about people watching at home. I just go out and do it. Behind the scenes, I doubt myself quite a lot and that comes from years back when I struggled with self confidence. Sometimes I think I’ve come so far, but then it can be two steps forward, one step back. I’m only human. I can sometimes become very overwhelmed. It happened in the hair room before a show on a Sunday and I thought to myself, can I do this, am I pretty enough, can I take on this role? I’ve had to have a word with myself. It stems from previous experiences which I try to move on from but those thoughts creep up from time to time. I’m fairly self aware so taking a few minutes out to talk to yourself and catch those thoughts is very important. We have a great support network on the show too.
How do you get yourself out of that headspace when you do have a wobble?
I’m fully aware and know it’s in my head. My dance partner knows straight away if I’m down, pro dancer Laura Nolan too. I feel like I have imposter syndrome. This world is still relatively new to me. Plus then with my physical image, as I struggled with that so much growing up, sometimes I still get in my own head. I used to wipe it under the surface, I wouldn’t cry often, I don’t show emotion much but with this show, it’s teaching me to feel it and ride the wave. So far in doing that, taking five minutes, letting it out and chatting to whoever you need to, it helps. I’m very close to my siblings at home and Danny O’Carroll is like my replacement brother on the show, the same with Ervinas my dance partner. The people around you are just so important.
One of the things people are most nervous about on a show like this is putting themselves out there, but having a career on social media, you do that on a daily basis. Has it helped you at all?
It is a help, yeah, but when it comes to online, I have full control over what I put up. I rarely show a vulnerable side. I try to keep everything very low-key. At this stage of life I’m in, I’m very happy so what I put up online is real, but whenever I have a wobble, I choose not to express that. People don’t come to my page to see me ranting and raving about things, they come for a pick-me-up. But on this show, it’s seven days a week, there’s no escaping the vulnerable side and I accept now that it’s ok to show it. There’s more to me than the shits and giggles if you will, I’m a real person and I’m not afraid to expose that.
You’re right, everyone has down days. As you said people go to you for a pick-me-up, but what picks you up?
I’m all about dry humour, silly comedy. I follow lots of different comedians online. I tend not to follow too many fitness influencers who promote health and diet culture, it’s nothing against them, it’s just triggering for me from the way I grew up. Generally they’re very positive but I don’t enjoy watching them. I spent so many years of my life comparing myself to others, and I don’t want to watch videos which make me feel like I’m not doing a good enough job now. I follow uplifting profiles. And there’s so many Irish ones; Tadhg and Derry Fleming, Eric Roberts… they’re great.
You make sketch videos – all in good jest – but has anyone ever taken it up badly or been offended?
Not that I know of! I always say coffee isn’t everyone’s cup of tea so I understand fully that when someone comes to my page, they mightn’t enjoy my stuff. I can’t expect everyone to love me. If anyone insults me online, I don’t reply or engage with it. In an ideal world people would just scroll away instead of commenting but who am I to expect that from people? I don’t take myself too serious. On the show, yes I’m dolled up to the nines, I’m tanned and tweezed from top to bottom but at the same time, I make videos with no makeup, wearing a wig, dressed up as a fella. As long as I’m not taking myself too seriously, people are generally very kind. When it comes to the celebs I impersonate, they usually take it very well. Maura Higgins was commenting on my I’m A Celeb vids, Peter Crouch, Vogue Williams… when they get onto you and show their support it’s always a nice feeling.
When it comes to content creation, for the most part, it’s you alone in a room creating these videos. Is it a lonely job?
It was at the beginning. I started in lockdown so only ever knew it as myself and my camera in my bedroom. I got so used to that and very comfortable with it. It wasn’t until things lifted and I was doing different things that I started to find it overwhelming. I went to my first awards show and kept thinking to myself, what am I doing here? I was just being hard on myself. I’m reaching so many people, it’s so interactive socially but I’m essentially on my own. With DWTS and working on the likes of Fair City, those are my favourites days and projects because you’re surrounded by people for a change. As much as I enjoy making my own content, I think it’s important to branch out and meet with people.
Speaking of trying new things, talk to us about making your acting debut on Fair City at Christmas. How did that come about?
They always do a Christmas special so when they came knocking, I jumped. I had the time of my life. It sparked something within me, I want more of it. In the next year or two, I’d love to do more acting.
Was it a one time thing or could it be ongoing?
Well they didn’t kill me off, so they left the door open. You never know!
Was acting something you were always interested in, or did that come later?
As a child I always wanted to be an actress but being from Monaghan, I always had this small-town syndrome and thought nothing was going to come from a girl who had zero connections – we come from a family of teachers and civil servants. I did speech and drama, only ever with my teacher alone, never a stage performance or anything. I was too self conscious, and afraid. Whenever I started doing lip-syncs online, I thought it’s all on me and I need to push myself to do more. There’s a huge difference between what I do on social media and acting. With acting, you get it off talent alone, off your audition. If I do get anything I know it’s off my own back. It’s been a dream of mine all my life but only in the last year or two I’ve started to believe it could happen.
Do you think Kayleigh of previous years would be proud of you pursuing it now?
I get emotional even thinking about it, about the younger Kayleigh. Honestly, she wouldn’t believe it. It’s why the teacher in me is so passionate now to push kids and encourage them to follow their dreams. I was lucky I had teaching and always had a fall-back, but at the same time to take a career break and go full-whack with this, I don’t know where the courage came from because it’s not something I’d have ever even considered years ago. Younger me would be in utter disbelief, but also delighted. I spent 22 years of my life living behind the fear of what people think, feeling like I wouldn’t be capable of achieving anything. Even when it came to teaching, I never imagined I’d have the confidence to get up in front of a classroom. Then when this started, it’s another level. I’m so proud, I really am. This has been my dream forever, but one that I never thought would come true. I’m really, really happy in life right now and I just hope it continues, onwards and upwards.
