Raised around rigs and buoys, being on board boats and sailing has been the biggest part of Daisy Kelliher’s life since she was a child. From family trips to stories shared by her granddad – Irish Olympic sailor, Eddie Kelliher – the passion and grá for life on the sea has been passed down from generation to generation.
Barely a teen, Daisy found herself sailing in Dun Laoghaire and later on, began a career which would see her work on some of the biggest yachts around the world. As Chief Stew, Daisy could be away on these €20 million boats for weeks or months on end, and just a few years ago, became one of the most prominent faces on Bravo’s reality show, Below Deck.
Back on dry land, she joins us at NYX Hotel in Portobello, to tell us more about her life on and off the water!
Daisy, welcome home! For those who don’t know, you’re based in London so this was just a quick trip back to Dublin. Do you get home often?
I try to come home when I can. It usually ends up being two or three times a year. I’m home again in July for my cousin’s wedding and I’ll stay for a week to try see everyone. Along with the other travelling I do, it’s hard to fit it all in.
Do you miss it here or does London feel like home now?
I left Dublin so long ago. I went to university in Shannon when I was 19, then moved to London when I was 22, which is 15 years ago. I went travelling afterwards and worked on boats abroad. I’ve lived outside of Ireland nearly longer than I have inside. So many of my friends have left the country and it’s been so long since I lived here permanently. I feel very Irish and my personality is very much from Dublin, but I do think I feel more at home now in London.
Growing up along the coast in Dublin, you started sailing pretty young, didn’t you?
Yeah, I started sailing out of Dun Laoghaire Dinghies when I was about 12. I had always been around boats whether it was on a sailing holiday or when we lived in Antigua which has a huge sailing community. Even before 12, I was always familiar with boats. A boat was never a stranger to me.
It’s always been big in your family, your grandfather Eddie Kelliher was once an Olympic sailor for Ireland. Boating must be in your DNA!
I think so! We definitely come from a strong sailing background. He represented Ireland in the Olympics, my dad and all his siblings grew up sailing, then my grandparents retired on a boat and lived off it for several years. It’s something we’ve always grown up around. I think every family has a little hobby or passion, and sailing is ours.
Your sister is involved too, isn’t she?
Yeah she is! She’s a chef on super yachts in the sailing industry.
How hard it is to get your family in the room together?!
Oh it’s hard! [laughs] It doesn’t happen very often.
When it comes to your own job Daisy, you’re Chief Stew, a very senior crew member, but for those who don’t know what that entails, can you explain it?
If the guests are on board, it’s basically like running a hotel. You do everything for them from breakfast, lunch and dinner service to turn-up, turn-down and concierge services; if they want to go horse riding or want a restaurant booked, you do that. Off charter, it’s all about maintenance, so making sure the standards are upheld, the interiors are looked after too. Then there’s the management side so making sure the crew moral is good so that’s a bit of HR, talking with the team, the chefs, liaising with the captain. It’s a very brief summary!
Generally, how long would you be on board for at any given time?
Every boat is different but for what I do and most others too, it’s a full time role. I’ve worked on boats where I’ve spent three years there. It becomes your home. When the guests aren’t there, you work 9-5 with weekends off like a normal job but when they come on board, the hours pick up and you won’t really have a day off for whatever amount of time they’re on board.
Can it get isolating?
It can in some ways, but in others, it’s hard to feel lonely when you’ve a good crew. They become part of your family and it’s quite comforting knowing someone is always there. If anything, I think it’s actually harder to get alone time rather than it being isolating. You’re always surrounded by people and I quite like that side of the industry.
You get up close and personal with the most wealthy people in the world. Have you rubbed shoulders with many celebs?
I work mainly with private families who made their money through finance or retail, things like that. But I have met a few celebrities along the way. I worked on a boat and they gave it up to host a party at the Canne Film Festival so I got to meet some people there. We’ve thrown dinner parties where there’s been some famous faces. But I mainly just work for the rich, finance folk!
Who’d be your dream guest to have on board?
Oooh, that’s a hard one! I think I’d want someone like Louis Theroux, someone super interesting who I also think would be down to earth.
You had already been in this industry for years before landing a spot on Below Deck, but how different is it working on boats without cameras to when they’re filming for the show?
I have gone back and worked on private yachts since I’ve done the show and I’d almost say it’s boring. I thought working on yachts was stressful before, but adding the cameras is just such an extra element. It’s so intense. Mentally you’re very aware, maybe not so much in the moment but afterwards if you’ve made a mistake or say something you shouldn’t have, it can be quite weighing on you whereas in the real world, if nobody seen or heard, it’s easier to move on. Obviously then the physical aspect too, it’s a very physical job anyway and time is of the essence but those extra few seconds when you’re waiting for a camera man to move out of the way makes a difference. It was only when I went back to boats I thought to myself, this is really easy without the cameras.
The show gives a lot of us a glimpse into a space we’d never see otherwise, but how true to life is it really?
There’s obviously added elements to heighten certain aspects, we have to produce content in six weeks so it’s not normal that you’d turn around a boat that quickly and it’s not usual that I wouldn’t meet my crew members before we pick up guests, but it’s a TV set so it would be a very expensive show if they were following us all year round. The premise, what it stands for and the idea of what you’re getting, is pretty true. I think it’s like anything, if you’re filming a programme about an office, you know it’s not like this every single day but sometimes scandalous things happen.
On the topic of scandalous things, there’s always drama with reality TV, but is it hard when it’s your life and you’re being followed with cameras when things aren’t going well?
Yeah, definitely! We’re all human. It’s hard for anyone to show vulnerability. Everyone wants to show their best side, always, whether that’s you’re physical or mental appearance, your job etc. It’s the whole point of reality TV though that it shows your flaws and it makes
you relatable, but as much as that’s what people want to see, it’s a hard mirror to look at. It’s challenging, but rewarding to have this kind of reflection that most people in the world don’t get to have. It takes strength and someone who’s quite thick skinned to be able to look at themselves in a less positive light.
Last year you were involved in a love triangle on the show, but in general, life on the seven seas must be hard on relationships. Has it put you off getting romantically involved on boats?
Ah no it hasn’t, now. At the time I swore off men and swore off people on boats but now it’s hard to recognise that person since a year has passed. I’m not going to not date someone on board, because what if they are the love of my life? I believe in taking chances. Hopefully a bit wiser and more carefully in the future though!
Earlier on our shoot you mentioned you were dating someone. Is he involved in the sailing world at all, how’s it going for you?
[Laughs] It’s going! That’s all I’m going to say right now.
Okay, but tell us, do you think it’s easier to date now that you’re not filming, does it take the pressure off?
For me, despite being on TV I’m a relatively private person. People would have seen that it took me three years to even date someone on the show. I like to keep that side of me private. I know it’s something I signed up to when I agreed to share my life with the world through the show or on social media, so it will be something I’ll have to accept, but I’m much happier and comfortable sharing snippets about myself than my relationship. It adds a whole other level of pressure. It’s a bit of a challenge for me, having to share that side of my life.
Given the nature of your job, being away at sea for periods of time, how does that impact a relationship, does it make it harder to settle down? Is it the sort of job you could be married and have a family with, or is it very difficult when away for prolonged periods?
There’s definitely people who have families. Most captains in the industry are married and have a partner at home. The older I get, the more I’m embracing it. For a long time, people told me I can’t be in a long distance relationship and it’ll never work and I almost convinced myself of that, but now getting older, I don’t see myself being in a relationship other than long distance, at least at the beginning. It’s just the type of person I am. I travel a lot. I’m naturally attracted to people who would be like-minded; who travel, are probably in yachting, who like to live in the moment and maybe are not so much a home-body. I’m seeing more of the positives of long distance now because every time you’re together, it’s like a holiday! You’re not having to rush into the mundane of going home and watching TV, which can be great, but I feel privileged that you can almost extend the honeymoon phase. If you’re both willing to make it work, there can be some real positives there.
You’re freezing your eggs now at 37 as a security blanket for the future, giving you some peace of mind. Have you started the process?
Yeah, so I’ve already done one freezing cycle which was a great experience and I’m about to do another cycle. I think we’re so lucky in this day and age to have this science. I think it’s amazing and I feel very grateful that I’m in a position to be able to do it. I don’t know what the future will hold, if I’ll need the eggs, if the freezing will even work. I remember a doctor once told me that at least I’m able to take control and that verbalised what I was feeling, that something was being taken away from me, a choice almost, and now I’m able take that back.
It’s so important to have that choice and it’s brilliant these options are available now.
Absolutely. Our lives are changing and luckily science is able to keep up with those changes and able to support women who are favouring a career, or if it’s just not happening for them for whatever have science give you the option to have both, a career and a family when you’re ready, is something a lot of women crave, it’s amazing.
And with your own career Daisy, are you back filming for the next season? Is there longevity in this?
That’s up to Bravo, it’s out of my control but if they offered it to me, I would do it. I really enjoy the experience and I love that so many people take joy from the show and I love being part of that. I feel really blessed to have been able to do it for three seasons. If they asked me back, I’d happily take the opportunity.
Even if it’s not with the show, do you think working on yachts will always be in your future or would you like a different route now with the reality TV side of things?
I’m definitely slowing down in the yachts. I think that’s part of the reason why I decided to do this show in the first place. I hope to keep my foot in the industry whether it be temping, maybe a rotational role in the future, working for charities etc. I definitely want to keep in the yachting world but my role is changing. I’m really enjoying influencing and reality TV and it’s a lot of fun being able to learn new things. Hopefully yachting will always be around, but just not so much as my full time career.
You seem like a pretty spontaneous gal, are you just ready for an adventure, to see where the wind takes you?
Yeah! When I took on this role, I didn’t understand what opportunities would follow. I thought it was just a reality TV show. I knew if you went into the likes of Love Island there were other opportunities and I didn’t see that with Below Deck but in the last four years, each one has been more exciting and it’s been a real whirlwind. This year especially, I’m trying to say yes to everything. I’m earning less but experiencing more. I have no idea when it’s going to stop so I want to enjoy it all. The reality is, in a couple of years I mightn’t have the opportunity whether it’s just not offered, if I have a family or if I’ve gone back to corporate work, who knows?! I’m saying yes to everything!